Kate in Wonderland
by marvelic
Summary: "DRINK ME" it said. Now, Kate wasn't a dumb, blond girl who blindly followed instructions on suspicious bottles of fluid. Instead, she picked up the bottle and dumped it into one of the many pouches on her belt, figuring she might need it sooner or later to poison her enemies. Alice in Wonderland AU.


The chase to find her mother's killer turns a full circle, the Clue leading her back to the same old alleyway she was killed. The Clue Vaults into the garbage bin and she follows.

* * *

Kate opened her eyes to a white room.

She stares at the white ceiling for a while, then at the white walls, and rolled over to inspect the white floors.

She got up.

Huh. She was in a dress, a light blue one at that. Not a colour she would usually wear. There was a utility belt hanging from her hips though, equipped with a revolver, pocket knives and all sort of other nifty, fun toys.

Experimentally, she twirled about. The brown leather belt looked odd with the pastel puffy skirt, knee length socks and Mary Jane shoes but Kate felt pretty. She decided that she quite liked it, the dress.

The room was square, completely white and cubic. Kate walked around perimeter, taking in the lack of details, sweeping her hand across the walls. Her heels clicked noisily but the sound didn't echo. It felt like cardboard, the walls.

She stopped when she saw a small door, at the bottom wall. A tiny door, meant for a tiny child? She vaguely wondered why she didn't notice it before, seeing how small the room was but decided it wasn't important.

Stooping down, and she peered into the keyhole. There was a garden on the other side, bushes of white roses on a field of green. It looked beautiful. She wanted to go there.

Kate got back up, this time only to see a tiny, glass bottle on the floor. It was about the size of her palm, filled with a clear blue potion. There was a post-it note plastered on it.

"DRINK ME" it said.

Now, Kate wasn't a dumb, blond girl who blindly followed instructions on suspicious bottles of fluid. Instead, she picked up the bottle and dumped it into one of the many pouches on her belt, figuring she might need it sooner or later to poison her enemies.

But she really wanted to go to the garden though. Who wouldn't?

Thoughtfully, she tapped the wall again. It was cardboard, right?

She gave it a swift kick.

The wall ripped apart into two, stopping at there the door was.

Grinning happily,Kate jumped through it and into the garden.

* * *

"Hurry, hurry! Her Majesty will be here any second now!"

Kate hurried over to the bush of white roses. There were a trio of playing cards, an Eight of Spades, a Two of Clubs and a Five of Diamonds, holding buckets of red paint. Their gloved held paintbrushes that swept easily along the petals of each rose, dying the snowy petals crimson.

"What are you doing!" Kate cried out. She didn't like red, she really didn't.

"The Queen, the Queen will soon be here!" exclaimed Eight of spades.

"We planted white roses instead of red! White!" said the Five of Diamonds, movements becoming increasingly frantic.

"White instead of Red!"

"The Queen, the Queen! She will be furious, furious I say!"

"The red roses are her pride!"

"Pride!"

"She will be fu-"

Kate didn't see the point in associating herself with anyone who preferred red over white, so she went her own way. She could see a small patch of greenery, perhaps a bigger garden at the end of the grassy road. There must be more flowers there, surely?

* * *

Soon she arrived, and it was indeed a bigger garden. The entrance was being blocked by a giant mushroom though, red with huge white spots.

There was a man sitting on the mushroom, cross-legged and smoking a hookah.

"Hello." The man said pleasantly.

"Hello." Kate replied, just as nicely. She decided that she liked this man more than the Three Cards. They were too frantic, too hurried in their words and actions. The man was calm though.

"I'm Ryanpillar." He said. "You must be Kate?"

She nodded. Her brown curls bounced.

Ryanpillar took a long smoke and coughed. "Do you know why you are here?" he asks.

Kate thinks for a while. "I was following the Clue."

She doesn't know what the Clue is, not really, but somehow following it seemed really important.

Ryanpillar reaches over to give her a pat on the head. He's wearing a funny green suit and a funny blue tie, and Kate thinks that he doesn't belong on the mushroom, but on something else.

"Some people say that one side of the mushroom makes you bigger, the other side makes you smaller. But really, the entire thing is just poisonous." Ryanpillar says suddenly.

"Do you sit here to make sure others who come by don't eat it then?"

"Yes. You're a smart girl Kate."

"I know. But don't you have a home to return to?"

Ryanpillar frowns and takes another smoke and coughs yet eyes are watering by now. "Why yes. I have a, uh, wife. She's guarding my Pot of Gold for me."

Kate's eyes widen in realization. "You're not _really _Ryanpillar, you're Ryanprechaun."

Ryanprechaun loks upset when she says this, and his hand goes up to tug at the tie, twisting it around his wrist. He looked guilty.

"I think, Mister," Kate says softly. "You should go back to your Pot of Gold. Your wife must miss you."

He nods. "Thank you, Kate. I will do that."

Kate watches as Ryanprechaun picks up his hookah and disappears. She wonders what made him go and protect others from the mushroom in the first place, but you don't ask this kind of things.

* * *

Before entering the garden, she takes out the knife and cuts out a generous chunk of the mushroom. Poison was a weapon after all she needed all she could get.

"Kaaaattiiieee~~~~~" a voice calls out, right after she pockets the mushroom piece and Kate whips her head towards it, knife clutched close to her chest.

A figure swings out and hangs upside down from a tree.

"Hello there Katie," the man says, and he grins too wide. "I'm Jerry Cat!"

* * *

Exams are coming and writing complete and utter crack somehow became my coping mechanism.

I know the story don't follow the order of the original Alice in Wonderland. It's not meant to.


End file.
